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Pulse Of The Maggots [Jul. 6th, 2007|12:06 am]
[Current Location |Living Room]
[Current Mood |lonelylonely]
[Current Music |Placebo - Picture]

So my sister had her baby. Finally. Lol.
And there she is..resting peacefully in Uncles arms.
I never thought that I'd get so attatched to anyone from the very second I saw them, but I was wrong.
I would take a bullet for this baby already. I love my neice. Sky Lynn Frazier. Born on July 4th, 2007 at 8:24am. She weighed 6lbs and 10oz. and she was 19 1/4 in. long. 

On..the other end of the spectrum. Sarah has officially broke up with me. The same night my neice was born. I really don't even know what to say about that. Actually, at the time I was in complete disbelief. But I mean seriously, what else is knew? Everyone leaves. Its a stated fact and I tell everyone. I dont know, I just thought she was different. She possessed so many qualities that no one I had ever dated had. She was just amazing. Just because we're not together doesnt mean I dont believe everything that shes ever told me. Shes just going through a lot of shit right now and she "cant be a girlfriend right now." Oh well. When I get to Texas and she meets me and sees how I am..shes gonna be like, "what was I thinking? he's amazing." Or at least thats what my friend said she'd think. But my friends right. I think I'm a great guy. 

There are two pictures Celina took today. Shes beautiful right?

The baby comes home tomorrow. 

Ugghh..I just cant get Sarah off the brain though. Its almost ridiculous. Like, seriously. I dont know how many times I've said her name today unintentionally or intentionally. And like I was talking to Josh and I was like..ohh.."my girlfriend did this..uhh..I mean..uhh..my ex girlfriend." It doesnt feel right to call her my ex. I dont know. 

I need to disconnect my heart again, just so I can breathe.

Err..I'm bored. Peace out nukkaz!

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I'll Conjure Up A Phrase That Can Cut To The Quick [Jun. 30th, 2007|08:02 pm]
[Current Location |Living Room]
[Current Mood |dorkydorky]
[Current Music |Relient K - I Need You]

*rawr* I'm bored.
Dez just called. She says "I have to move within the next 3 weeks cuz her store is sending her to grooming school so shes gonna be in Arlington for a month. So I'll be at her apartment by myself for a month. Aye! Fucking aye! And on top of that the kid Alex she works with at the shop is like, "She lives in a bad part of town. You'll hear gunshots at least twice a week. And you might get robbed by a crackhead or a homeless person." I was like fucking great. Oh well. 

But yeah..I'll be in that apartment all the time, alone, except for the time I'm working until Dez gets back. 


I played 5 games of basketball with Katie today and she got pissed because I won all five. We were walking home and I had my back turned to her and she threw the basketball at me. She was really pissed. Lol.

*rawr* I love my girlfriend. Like a lot. I mean, I know I'm in love with her. I love going to sleep with her on the phone. She makes the cutest noises when she sleeps. And she has the most adorable laugh I've ever heard. Just talking to her or hearing her voice makes me smile. Is that lame? Lol. I love everything about her. Head to toe, inside and out. And I realize that its imperfections that make people who they are. And everybody has them. I'd have a hard time pointing them out on her. I'm sure there are some because everyone has them..but it would be hard. I love her eyes. I love the way that when she says I love you, it feels like nothing can go wrong. I feel content with her. I just love her..like a lot a lot a lot.

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(no subject) [Jun. 29th, 2007|07:32 pm]
[Current Location |Living Room]
[Current Mood |boredbored]
[Current Music |The Distillers - I Am A Revenant]

So yeah..things are definately better between me and Sarah now. I have nothing to worry about and I dont know why I was being stupid and stupid things. Shes at drivers ed right now and I miss her. But I know I'll talk to her when she gets out. 

So yeah...I have about $80 towards my trip right now, which is enough to pay for my bus ticket. My mom is trying to give me tips on how to guilt my dad into giving me more money. Shes like, "Tell him, that I just gave you $150...that way he'll feel like he has to at least match up to me or top me." Which would probably work because my parents have this competition thing that really sucks. 

There was a false alarm last night. We thought the baby was coming..but we were wrong. Sarah was having these contractions and I was like, "OHHHH MYYY GODDD! THEEE BABY'SS COMINGG!" But the doctor said that they werent full blown contractions yet..so it will probably be another few days before she comes.

Mmmm...my sister Katie is making me pancakes. Mmmm...

That fucking baby makes me laugh every time I see it. Its fucking hilarious.

Haha..I fully plan on ordering these very soon.

Anyway..yeah..Charmed is on. My sister watches that show constantly. Its kind of annoying.

I wanna do something tonight. Like, I really wanna drink. I wanna play Fotch!

Well I cant think of anything else to say so I'm gonna go. Peace!

I love you Sarah!

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Love Struck And Completely Fucked Up [Jun. 27th, 2007|06:12 am]
[Current Location |Living Room]
[Current Mood |worriedworried]
[Current Music |Paramore - Sweet Misery]

I dont even know whats going on with me right now.
My paranoia has intensified so bad.
I cant help but think she doesnt want me.
I cant help but think she wants her.
And those thoughts just wont seem to leave my mind.
She says she loves me.
She says she wants to be with me.
But then she says and does these things to make me think shes being untrue.
I dont even know what to say at this point.
I'm moving to Texas..its done..theres nothing I can do about it now.
And yet, now I find myself questioning if I want to or not.
She says that she wants me to be there.
But then with the flick of a switch, shes unsure again.
I mean, does she love me or not?
I'm not a toy..I'm no a yo-yo that someone can jerk back and forth.
I wish I had someone to give me some really good advice.
The kind of advice that would keep me thinking.
Maybe I need to talk to my Gay Dr. Phil again.
Last time I had a problem I talked to Brittany on the phone for like 3 hours.
And she actually helped..like..a lot.
I dont have a reason to not trust her.
I do trust her.
But she makes it really hard.
I wish I just knew what she wanted from me.
If she could give a flat out blunt response.
Not just "I dont know."
Ya know?
Ugghh...too much thinking.
I'm going to bed.

"Again I Go Unnoticed"

Is that so much to ask?

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It Was Nothing Like I Thought It Would Be [Jun. 19th, 2007|04:15 pm]
[Current Location |Living Room]
[Current Mood |boredbored]
[Current Music |Metric - So Succexy]

So me and Sarah have been going to sleep together on the phone every night. Which is great. Like, the other night I woke up from a nightmare..and the phone was next to me and I could hear her breathing and it helped me get back to sleep. That girl is amazing I swear. She genuinly cares about me, which I dont think any of my ex's did. So..shes definately unique. 

My sisters doctor said that she'll be having her baby any day now. The doctor told her that the pains she's been getting were contractions. So anyday so I'm going to be an Uncle. I'm excited. I know this whole family is gonna turn into panic mode when her water breaks..but we're all still VERY excited. 

I was sick yesterday..it wasnt fun at all. I thought someone was taking a sledgehammer and hitting me in the head with it. Thats an exageration..but still. If it wasn't, I would have been like this.

Or actually, most likely dead. Or with some major brain damage. Lol.

I'm really bored right now. Sarah just called, shes out with her cousins. Sounds like shes having a good time...so thats good. Its lame how after I get off the phone I miss her like 2 seconds later.

I mean, look at that face.

Can you really blame me? Naw, I didnt think so.

Ahhh..I really wanna go out drinking sometime soon. I've been craving it. Celina if you're reading this, we should get....

That...we should.

Anyway..I think I'm gonna go..cuz like I said, I'm rather bored.

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The Boys Wanna Be Me. Yes, they do. [Jun. 17th, 2007|07:48 pm]
[Current Location |Living Room]
[Current Mood |boredbored]
[Current Music |Peaches - Boys Wanna Be Her]

So, I dragged my ass all the way to Indiana..and I dragged Celina's ass the whole way with me. And for what? Nothing. Absolutely  nothing. Keaira turned out to be a complete douchebag. But whatever, I'm not even worried about it. Cuz she's not worth it. I have a new girlfriend and shes completely amazing. Shes beautiful, shes sweet, shes everything that I could ever ask for in a girlfriend. She makes me feel like she actually wants me around which is something my ex's never did. She might live pretty far away but I will see her on New Years. Here are some pictures of her.

^ This picture just makes me wanna hug her. Shes beautiful isnt she? ^

^ And this picture makes me wanna sex her up..mmm...lol ^

^ Shes really sexii. End of story ^

Yeah..shes MINE. So back off bitches and bastards. Lol. All mine. Just as I am hers. 

So anyway..Celina and my sister Sarah are putting together her bassinet. It seems like its harder than they thought it would be. All I hear is "uhhh" "uggghhh" "ooooo." Lol. It sounds pretty amusing. Haha.

"You've got them all by the balls, causin' waterfalls, stone walls, bar brawls, common stalls that 'cause 'em all.  To you they crawl, body sprawl, smokin' Pall Malls, close call, stand tall. Doll, you make them feel so small. And they love it. The boys wanna be her. The girls wanna be here. I wanna be her. Yes, I do. The way you rock. Don't stop. Girl, you got the chops. Flip flop, she bop. Self-taught, you look so hot. Are you concieved? Kids recieve. Crawling up the sleeve. Parents bleed. Cant concieve, that indeed we'd never leave."
"Boys Wanna Be Her" -Peaches

Know what the song makes me wanna do?

Lol..yeah, well I'm gonna go. Peace out.

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